Something's Up
By SAMSON AMBROSIO - All Paws Network

Master and Mistress think I don't know, but I'm on to their shenanigans. They mistakenly think all I have are toes and no thumbs on my paws. That's true. But, I, the Sam, also have psychic radar.

I had a dream that I don't especially like. In it, I'm sitting in the back seat while the car moves past cars and trees and more cars. I squirm and shift, trying to get comfortable, but I can't. I don't like riding in the car. As the dream continues, I whine until my throat hurts and shed so much hair I can hardly see the seat beneath my rump. The car and all of us keep moving. How? None of us is walking or running. Finally, Mistress opens the car door and I'll launch myself into some grass to leave some tail mail. Then, I see the building. We enter. I begin shaking in terror. I should know this place. The humans inside seem oddly familiar.
Oh-oh, I'm at the vet!

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On My Bow Wow Trail
By SAMSON AMBROSIO - All Paws Network

My master and I go for a walk twice a day.  It’s an event I look forward to with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Sometimes, when the weather is wet, it’s a real chore. Most of the time, I am grateful for the relief my walks allow me. We usually take a turn around the place where we live and into the park.

However, every couple of days, I don’t know why, we take a much longer walk. I really like those days. I get to visit a number of tall things, trees and so forth. That allows me to catch up on the comings and goings of other dogs who post on these “natural” blogs. It’s fun to see who has been passing through the area. I always try to leave a little message of my own, although my master doesn’t always let me stop and read each and every one of the memos.

It’s also fun because I get to see a bunch of my buddies who also live in the neighborhood. Most of the time, they don’t seem to be able to leave their lawns for a close sniff and some doggie bonding. A lot of the time, though, they will send out a message and it’s always good to hear from them.

Arf! Arf! Bark! Arf! (“Hey look, it’s Sam!”)
Bark! Bark! Bark?!  (“Hi Sam, how are you doing?”)
Arf! Barkety-Bark?!  (“Hey Sam, where are you going?”)

I feel special because I know that I will be walking on, and they will be stuck at home. I sure hope they also get a chance to go for a walk.

Walks are something special.

Woof!

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Misunderstanding
By SAMSON AMBROSIO - All Paws Network

How many times do I have to remind Mistress that I am not to be disturbed for any reason when I am on one of my nine million breaks? Did I volunteer for two hours of front door duty? No. I thought I was summoned to the entryway primarily to soak up some Vitamin D and to warm myself when the afternoon sun began streaming inside. My presence in front of the storm door should not imply that I accept the role of Security Sentinel. 

Of course, while positioned there, I will do my doggie best to monitor the perimeter. If I pick up the scent of something or somebody other than the humans who live here, I shall alert them as well as all of our neighbors within bark range.

Because being on door duty can be quite exhausting, I may, from time to time, close my eyes. While I appear to be asleep, I am, in fact, vigorously pursuing an imaginary bunny or ground hog. Trust me, my nose is always on patrol. Why would I wish to miss the chance to inhale any foul or fowl odors wafting my way?

That I, a mere medium-sized, mixed-up Beagle mutt, can impersonate a canine of twice my heft with my ferocious, baritone bark is not in question. Therefore, I propose that Mistress reposition my daybed wherever she needs me to be. I promise, in return, to be alert for an unspecified, albeit brief time.

I hope sharing this information will prevent any future confusion.

Woof!

Weeks, months, years--time is way too complicated for me, The Sam, to understand. Maybe it's because I only can count to four. One, two, three, four paws. That's it. No abacus action down here. The funny big yellow bird on public TV probably could help me learn more numbers--if I was interested in watching him and his fake fur and felt friends. I'm not. I would rather stare out the window to track the countless live critters as they traipse and trespass through my outside space: deer, squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, raccoons, voles, moles, cats, and birds.

When I was spryer, I had an unforgettable, sniffing incident I dearly regret. It was my unfortunate introduction to one Monsieur Phew-Phew. Life lesson: leave le skunks alone. Let's just say our meeting was followed by six unscheduled baths, three emptied boxes of carpet fresh, and five months of eau de funk. I've since been forgiven for my blunder on the condition that I am more selective in my rump greetings.

A neighborhood animal advisory must have been issued that I'm in here more than I am out there because this past summer a rotund groundhog had the nerve to move in practically under my nose. Things could get interesting if and when the 'round hog emerges from his beneath-the-deck burrow.

Oh, well. The Master and Mistress say January is coming. That means that pretty soon the all-green tree with little lights and other hanging things will be gone. My daytime bed will return to my preferred vista in front of the back door. And, hopefully, I'll have plenty of snow to eat and to play in soon.

Woof!
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Something is Missing
By SAMSON AMBROSIO - All Paws Network

My Dearest Household Humans:

Okay, I've looked under the tree you put in the space where my daytime bed usually is and I'm dismayed not to see any boxes with the name Samson on it.

You realize your oversight is going to force me to bark loudly and regularly in Moose code (or whatever that word is) until I get some answers. All I asked for this Christmas was one of those collar-mounted camera things so I could prove that I am not to blame for every hallway, rug, or mattress mess you find. Besides, I think it would be good for you two to see things from my level. How would you like to have a loud, moving vacuum cleaner near your nose or your paws? You're up there. I'm down here.

Anyway, please take a moment or two or five to tell that Santa guy what a loyal, loving doggie I've been all year. I sincerely hope on the day that you open your presents and stay on the phone for so long that I will discover an extra Greenie or at least a biscuit inside my WOOF stocking.

Merry Muttmas!

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Grateful
By SAMSON AMBROSIO - All Paws Network

As the sole hound in this household, I welcome the attention lavished on me. I have a crate loaded with stuffed toys. My food and water bowls are filled every morning. When the sun disappears and it gets dark outside, I get a biscuit. On the day of the big newspaper, after Master and I go for a long walk, I get to enjoy a Greenie--usually outside in the grass.

Oftentimes I think about all my dog buddies who have no house, no Masters or Mistresses, no doggie or human beds, no sofas, no treats, no leash or license, no doggie doctor…  When I was pup-teen, I was without a home. I remember scrounging for food in garbage and lapping water in puddles wherever I could. Then, one day as I tried to dodge cars and trucks, I was rescued from the road. I became a family pet. My tail has been wagging just about every muttley moment since then.

That's worth a bunch of woofs!

http://www.aspca.org/

http://www.humanesociety.org/

http://adoptions.petsmart.com/
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Most Days' Mutt Musts
By SAMSON AMBROSIO - All Paws Network

Usually, each day I simply must:

- Croon by the side of the bed to wake up my mistress
(I fill in for the rooster we, thankfully, don't have. If I'm up, she should be, too.)

- Find different spots in different rooms to get some Vitamin D
(I wish the sun was more cooperative and stayed in one place.)

- Bound downstairs to spin--paws up--and scratch my back

(The basement carpet just feels better.)

- Plop sideways on the stairs before Master puts on my leash

(I have to prepare myself mentally for each outdoor excursion.)

- Pause, sniff and pee every five feet on every bush, tree or hydrant
(Master calls it a walk. Maybe that's his priority.)

- Nudge every human I see for some attention

(Pets need constant petting--at least I do. C'mon, I always return the love.)

- Study my medi-tootsy-chewy on the floor before I chew and swallow it

(Master gets annoyed with me when my examination takes too long.)

- Park in front of my bowl for a few moments before I eat

(No matter what they think, I'm not weird. I'm merely meditating.)

- Bark louder and louder to stop my mistress from crooning atop the bike that doesn't move

(My floppy ears only can block out so much noise. She may be having fun. No one else is.)

- Sleep on one of the beds, couches, corners, rugs or stairs for as many hours as I can
(Master and Mistress just think that stuff is theirs. Please, let them keep the fantasy.)

Woof!
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Taste Matters
By SAMSON AMBROSIO - All Paws Network
 
Recently, I spent the night at the special vet place. I hadn't been feeling well for a while. The place was clean and bright and the humans were nice. Mostly, I remember lots of needles and people poking me all over. Sounded like they kept saying "kid-knees". (Don't know that word. Made no sense to me.)

When the vet let me go home, I was a little sore, but glad. Soon I started finding more and more of some small, cardboard-like pellets in my bowl instead of my usual, delicious kernels. The new stuff was not food. It was tasteless torture!

I had heard Mistress Carmen and Master Larry talk at lot about not eating twigs and bark. I'm not sure why they even mentioned bark. That's what I do. I'm a dog and, I do not eat twigs or wood--at least not by choice. Every morning I looked and sniffed my bowl. That awful stuff was in there. I tried but I couldn't eat those pellets. Turns out mutts cannot survive on water, one biscuit a day, and a weekly Greenie. I tried. My humans and my belly became sad.

Then, thank my lucky paws, my buddy Nancy at Camp Woof (my home when my humans aren't home) suggested a yummy alternative. Yet another, different food bag, still looks like pellets, better smell and great flavor! Now the vet, my humans, and my tummy are happy. My appetite is back.

I'm right tail wagging!

Super duper woof!
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